So my internet isnt workin so im writin it on word and then ill post it on my blog..

So at the moment i am just so confused.. not in a good mood thats for sure. I jus had worship workshop and i didnt feel anything today... its like i felt in such a bad mood and i had alot of pain and grief inside me!
Lately i am getting to know who my true friends are.. really painful and it just sucks! I felt this pain inside of me and just wanted to burst out crying really but i obviously couldnt! I felt like i dont even know who my friends are anymore.. as in i still have really good friends and stuff and i love them to death but the peole i thought where my bestest friends just arent.. you know? I just really think these people need prayers!
I cant express how sad im feeling today.. its just like i am not myself. I feel kind of lonely and stuff even though i know theres God near me its just i cant truly connect today maan! I feel like im really depressin everyone reasding this but like not in the best of moods so w/e!

This is the poem i was suppost to read in worship but didnt:
You are beautiful
You are jesus christ
You have lived for us
And you have even died

What you did for us
Its amazing lord
You created the world
Each living thing with thought

Everything i see
I admire so
From the amazing sea
To the mountains with snow

You have moulded us
Everyone with care
Everyone with love
Every him and her

Jesus shine through me
I want to be like you
In every way i could
In everything i do

So thankyou jesus christ
For creating me
And the beautiful world
For everyone to see

Its not so good but like i dont know i was randomly inventing songs in my head and these words where coming out and they sounded quite good together so i jotted them down and voilaa..

So every time i go to worship workshop i always get inspired by peoples opinions and today two people got really inspired by butterflies and one girl compared butterflies to us.. she said like you know butterflies carry pollen from one flower to another and new flowers grow.. its like us sharing Gods word with other people and the people become renewed Christians in a way.. dont know if i explained it well but oh well!
Then alot of people did really nice art stuff like drawings, collages and then people also wrote really nice poems and really amazing songs.. they where all really exquisite in there own way and i really like them all.. so thanks to everyone for sharing everythin was totally inspiring!

Now for all those who know me definately know that like when im with peole i know, im not shy at all but when it comes to people i dont know so much i get really shy and thats one of the reasons i didnt read my poem in worship.. most of you are probably saying like uwijja mhuxx her fault and stuff but like i know its my fault and stuff and i am really trying to overcome this thing but its like its so freakin hard.. when like i talk during the workshop i always end up shaking or something and that really really annoys me maa.. its like i try to stop it but i cant.. and like people say cause u wer scared and stuff but id actually be feeling quite comfortable but it occurs naturally and thats when when i start to get abit ekk cause ill be tryin to stop and it doesnt work.. and yes im quite cautious on like what people think and thats another thing i need to overcome kind of..
So like last time i was really happy cause like we had a youth mass and like after me sue simone and kay decided to go to the festa.. and like me and sue where walking on the road and singing all the Y4J songs and the thing is at that moment i really didnt care what people thought and i felt so happy. Its like i felt this boost u know.. and it felt so great and a really big acheevement u know..


So this post was actually quite long..
Im off to read it!
Hope i didnt totally bore u but i really needed to let go u know!

Love & Blessings

Kristina xxx